Bla bla i'm the black sheep

Lately I've not been sure what I'm after. I have been feeling lost. The one place I've felt I belong, I get to go for orentaion the day after tomorrow. I'm scared, If this is where I belong, How am I going to have time to work? What am I going to do about the stupid state. They don't listen to me I didn't quit my job, I went to part time! How do I push that for them to understand? They're going to stop the food stamps and not help me ever again. I only ask for 9 months of help. How is that going to kill anyone? what is wrong with asking for help so you can get on your feet and never have to worry about it? I know I've got the talent to do well in this, But I have to work that much harder to do it. I want to be done by May so I can spend the rest of my time with my honey! I love him. Jimmy is everything to me. I wish I could do some type of work while I'm going to school, so I can make money while I'm working on it. But they might not let me. I don't know. I'm so scared that life is going to pass me and I won't be aloud to go through with anything for the rest of my life. There are things I have to do, flee bomb my house, Start and finish school, put just one dream into reality. Every dream I've ever had was crushed at one time or another. The dream of marrying my best friend... Has somewhat faded. He doesn't seem all there right now. I know it's the transition from Sub to Land, and it'll take time. And then He'll be glad I've been here. But in the meanwhile I've called him, and he's loved hearing from me. I'm going crazy right now. The stupid state can't get my x husband because he's "out of their jurisdiction" thanks alot! they don't care how bad I've got it. I can't do anything alone. And Now I have to figure out what I'm going to do about this stupid stuff. Oh well, Guess I have to keep trying!